Brighter

Gungor: This is not the End

This is not the end
This is not the end of this
We will open our eyes wide, wider

This is not our last
This is not our last breath
We will open our mouths wide, wider

And you know you’ll be alright
Oh and you know you’ll be alright

This is not the end
This is not the end of us
We will shine like the stars bright, brighter

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This song has been my theme song for this past month as I have felt like a small green caterpillar exploring her new surroundings for the first time in a new terrifying; yet stimulating terrain. Transitioning is exciting, horrifying, and odd all at the same time. It's almost feels like adolescence when you are in that awkward greasy, slimy shaped stage. It’s weird.

But wait a minute. Hold up. I’m 25. Why do I feel so inadequate?

My eyes have been opened wider and wider to this thing we all do. This thing called life. My vision and the lenses through which my blue eyes see the world change throughout the everyday grind of things and the intentional time seeking God and finding His presence, and other times absence. I am coming to a closure in some areas of my life, but this does not mean my life stops. No, this means my life only continues. It continues, moves, pushes forward.

God has shown me how my life can be bright. He has shown me this not through myself, but through others. He has shown me through the young teen moms I see everyday pushing forward to get their high school diploma. He has shown me through young children who are scared to leave their living quarters for fear of deportation to a world they’ve never fully known. He’s showed me this through a mom who pushes to serve not only her children, but to share love to others while her husband is fighting for freedom in a foreign land. He makes things brighter. In the midst of our circumstances, our pains, our inadequacies, HE reigns. He does. He reigns.

This is not the end. This is not the end of us. We will shine like the stars bright, brighter.

My bright moment of today was making a pumpkin roll. :)

Overwhelmed with Gratitude

MMMM… coffee. I’m sitting here at the “Crazy Goat,” a local Coffee shop with happy baristas, on my day off from reality. I love these days where you can just sit, relax, and ponder where your life is. Ya know? Do you do that? If not, I recommend finding a favorite place, taking a couple hours, and letting your mind think of where you have come from to where you are now in life. A year ago I had returned from a 3 month adventure to the small, but rich green country of Costa Rica. Today, I sit sipping 3 autumn flavored coffees in Columbus, Ohio and yes I am jittery. I’m typing faster than normal with a smile on my face, partly due to the coffee, but also in large part to where I’m at in my life. Oh how life is interesting. It has been 4 months now here in the vibrant Columbus, Ohio. I am delighted to report that God has provided me with a great family to do life with, a supportive and out of the box job, and a vibrant “life group”to share struggles, joys, and cards, the competitive kind, not the Hallmark kind.

On this fresh October 1^st I am thankful. I am thankful mostly today for a God who pursues, uses, and refines us. I am insecure, prideful, and doubting, but God still pursues me. Through my weakness and insecurities my Father has provided me with a family of support. I have a couple shout outs to people God has allowed me to do life with these past 4 months. Kanako, Abby, Francisco, Sophia, Isa, Alex, Xavier, John, Brian, Lisa, Catalyst Clan, Diane, Mcgregor’s, Warehem’s, Carey’s, Mom and Dad, Bridgescape staff, Jill, and of course Jono.

My heart is filled with gratitude by the kind hospitality, listening ears, and cards played. I am overwhelmed with gratitude.